“I can’t believe we have to do another assignment for psychology this term. I thought we were done for the year.”

My friend Sarah was sitting across from me, aggressively tapping her foot against the table. She clicked her pen by pressing it against her lips, while frowning at the schedule in front of her.

It was a Monday morning; not exactly Sarah’s favorite day of the week. But I didn’t mind it. We were sitting in our usual booth in the school library. Every time a new semester started, I convinced Sarah to go over our schedules, assignments and upcoming tests and exams. She hated it and moped every time, but she was always thankful afterwards.

“We only have one more.” I said in the hopes to make her feel better about it.

Sarah made a grimace. “Easy for you to say. You always ace these things.” She shut her agenda and dramatically dropped her head on the table.

I laughed. “Don’t worry. We’re done actually.” I shut my agenda too and gathered all my books and notebooks to put them back into my schoolbag. 

“Oh, thank God!” Sarah lifted her head up again and observed me packing my schoolbag. I looked up at her and smiled. It always made me feel mildly uncomfortable when someone was watching me without speaking. With a quick sweep I pushed my bag off the table and onto the seat next to me.

“So what are you doing this week? Any plans?” Sarah asked. She ran her hands through her short, blond hair and looked around to see if any new people had entered the library. Her foot was still tapping against the table. She was always so restless. Unable to just sit still and relax. Maybe that’s why she gravitated towards a person like me. Maybe my calm personality balanced out her high energy levels.

“Just the usual. Swimming on Wednesday and Saturday, and dinner at my grandparents’ house after.”

Sarah nodded. This wasn’t anything new to her.

“And you?” I asked in return.

Sarah sighed. “I don’t know yet, but I want to do something. I’m kind of bored.” She rested her chin on her fist while her eyes shifted from me to different areas in the library, back to me. “Do you want to go to the movies this weekend? We can go on Friday?”

I took it in for a second. “Sure. That sounds nice.”

After three previous semesters of being classmates and friends, Sarah had luckily learned to accept that I didn’t enjoy going to parties, festivals or concerts. Instead, she made due with the cinema, the mall and sleepovers. Big crowds had always been something I struggled with and avoided at all cost.

Sarah picked up her phone. “I’ll see what movies are playing.”

Through the glass sliding doors of the library I could see Judith and Kelly approaching. I instantly hoped they wouldn’t join us, but I was almost certain they would. Judith spotted us, waved and proceeded to walk towards our table. Kelly was close behind.

“Hey girls. What are you up to?” Judith sat down next to Sarah, who instantly put her phone away and showed a welcoming smile. Sarah really liked the two girls. I guess you could say they were the popular girls of our class. She always perked up and showed her most girly side when they were around. I didn’t dislike them, but I always found myself wanting to spend time with just Sarah.

“I was looking up movies. Mel and I are going to the cinema this Friday. Oh, you guys should come.” Sarah looked at me for approval. “That’s fine, right?”

I smiled politely and shrugged. “Of course.” I moved my schoolbag onto my lap so that Kelly could sit.

“Oh, we have other plans on Friday.” Kelly said while she sat down next to me. She made it sound like it was some mysterious secret.

Sarah and I exchanged a look quickly, curious as to what she was talking about.

“Oh? What kind of plans?” Sarah asked.

Judith folded her arms on the table and raised her eyebrows a little. “Matt is throwing a party at his house. The whole class is probably going.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” A mild panic appeared on Sarah’s face.

“It will be in the groupapp soon. Matt just told me in person already.” Judith took turns looking at Sarah and me. “Will you girls be there?”

“Ehm.” Sarah’s eyes made it clear to me that she wanted to go, but she knew we had just made plans together.

I made a waving gesture with my hand to let her know it was fine. “We can see a movie another time. Next week maybe. You go and have fun.” 

Both Judith and Kelly weren’t even surprised by me not going to the party, and they didn’t try to convince me either.

Judith changed the topic. “Have you chosen a subject for your psychology assignment yet?” This question was directed at both Sarah and me as we were doing it together. Everyone knew I was always on top of my schoolwork. But as it was literally the first day of a new term, it was a bit early, even for me.

“No, not yet.” I was curious now. “Have you?”

Judith moved in her seat a bit. “No.” She rolled her eyes. “I have no idea.”

Everyone went quiet for a moment, thinking about possible subjects.

Then Judith laughed a little. “I mean, I guess Jackson would be a good subject.”  

“Oh shit.” Kelly snickered while covering her mouth with her hand.

Sarah’s mouth fell open. “That is a great idea!”

I watched Judith and Kelly’s faces freeze up a bit.

“I was joking.” Judith held up her hands in the air.

“No, I’m serious.” Sarah focused on me now. “He was arrested recently right? Here! In Toronto. That means your dad must know about him. Maybe he even arrested him. Maybe he talked to him.” Sarah was getting more and more excited. “If we could ask your dad some questions, we could write a really good paper on him. Right?”

Looking at Sarah, I didn’t know how to respond to her. It was such an unexpected and inappropriate idea that it simply made me speechless.

“I don’t know if that’s…” Kelly started. She and Judith glanced at each other.

“Yeah, I would think twice about that. It’s…pretty dark.” Judith said.

I could feel everyone looking at me now and I started to feel uncomfortable. “We’ll talk about it later.”

As the day progressed I was hoping Sarah would become less excited about her idea. Unfortunately, our final lesson was psychology, and that only amped her up more. Mr. Crane was our psychology teacher, and a very good one. He was also kind, funny, patient and respected by pretty much everyone in school. During this 60-minute lesson he went into detail about what he expected from us regarding this final assignment for his class. It was clear that we were expected to take it very seriously.

“Don’t be fooled by the fact that you only have one assignment for the entire final term. This assignment is not a simple paper. It’s complex and requires a lot of research, writing and revision. Do not start last minute, because you will fail.” Mr. Crane picked up the planner for the assignment from his desk and held it up in the air. “This is your planner.” He took a moment to look around the classroom. “Follow the planner or the chances are you’re going to fall behind. Hand in an insufficient product and you will fail this term.”

He handed out the planners, and everyone read through the multiple pages. As did I, and I started to get an idea of how much time this was going to take me and how I could divide that time over the coming weeks. The planner was very useful.

“Yes, Miss Palmer.” Mr. Crane said.

I looked at Sarah on my left. I hadn’t noticed her putting up her hand.

“This subject…can it be any person?” Sarah asked.

I knew where this was going. I could see Judith and Kelly turning around out of the corner of my eye.

“Yes. Any person you find interesting.” Mr. Crane bent over his desk a little to resume what he was working on. He looked up again when Sarah put her hand up a second time.

“Miss Palmer?”

“What if it’s a serial killer?”

Now she had Mr. Crane’s full attention, along with the rest of the class. All eyes were on Sarah now. I started to feel uncomfortable again.

Mr. Crane raised his eyebrows a bit. “A serial killer?”

“Yes. Jackson.” Sarah specified.

“I see.” Mr. Crane cleared his throat and thought for a moment. “Well, he is a person. Therefore, technically yes. You could use him as your subject.”

Sarah smiled contently.

“But I would advise you to pick another subject.” Mr. Crane came out from behind his desk and took a few steps towards the students. Everyone was paying attention to this dialogue now.

“You should pick someone who challenges you but make sure you don’t take on something too complex. Exploring the mind of such a man is perhaps too big of a task to take on in only one term. And in addition, perhaps not such a good idea for you personally.”

After class was over, I could see Judith and Kelly rushing over to us in the hallway. I started emptying my locker while listening to the conversation.

“Are you really choosing Jackson as your subject?” Judith asked. I could hear the excitement in her voice.

“Maybe.” Sarah hesitated for a moment. “ I mean, we have Mr. Crane’s permission.”

“He did advise against it. Aren’t you freaked out at all?” Kelly asked.

My bag was packed and I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to leave this conversation and go home. I took a few steps into the direction of the exit doors. “Hey, I’m going okay?”

Sarah held her hand up. “Wait, I’m coming.” She looked back at Judith and Kelly, said a quick goodbye and followed me outside.

It was a nice springday; about 18 degrees Celcius. Sunshine. No clouds. I buttened up my denim jacket and reajusted the straps of my schoolbag. It was surprisingly heavy for a final term.

“Mel. You’re not mad, are you?” Sarah walked beside me and glanced at me sideways. We were walking towards the busstop. We both lived very close to school. It was three stops for me and four for her.

“No, of course not.” I looked at her with a reassuring expression.

“Oh, good.”

“But I agree with Mr. Crane. I think we should write about someone else.”

Sarah stopped walking abruptly, which made me stop too.

“But why? It’s an awesome idea. He’s all over the news. It’s interesting and it would be so cool to do research about him. It would be even cooler if we could talk to your dad.” Now she raised her eyebrows at me.

“We need to catch the bus.” I continued walking and Sarah followed me. It wasn’t until we had chosen our seats on the bus that Sarah spoke again.

“Why do you have such a problem with Jackson?” She sat across from me on purpose so she could look me in the eye.

This time I gave her a serious look. “Because he is a serial killer, Sarah. Don’t you know what that means?”

“Of course I do.”

“I don’t think you do. You read the requirements of this assignment, right? Do you really want to spend the next three months deep-diving into his character, his behavior, his motives? I don’t think you realize what you’re getting yourself into.”

Sarah’s face looked utterly unhappy now. “Is this because of what happened when you were a kid? That time you stumbled upon some of your dad’s files?”

I turned my eyes towards the window for a moment, trying to block out the memory. And images… “It has to do with the fact that I’m closer to the reality of these cases. You just see it as any other story in the news.”

“Come on, Mel. I really want to do this.”

“Can’t we just pick someone else?”

“No, I want to pick Jackson!”

“Why don’t we give it a week and think of some other subjects. And if you still want to pick Jackson, then we’ll pick him.”

“I want to pick Jackson.”

I shook my head. It became clear to me that I wasn’t going to convince her otherwise.

She shrugged her shoulders and gave me an apologetic smile.

“You’re so stubborn.”

“I know.” She laughed a bit now.

My stop was coming up, and I was about to press the button when Sarah stopped me.

“Let’s go by the police station.”

“Why?”

“To see if your dad’s in. I want to ask him if he’ll help us with the assignment.”

“What? He’s working.”

“Well, let’s just see if he’s in.”

We passed my stop and I was getting a bit annoyed by Sarah being so inconsiderate of my dad’s time, or my time for that matter. But then it dawned on me that there was no way dad would approve of her idea to write about Jackson, let alone help us by answering questions about him. He wasn’t even allowed to. This was an ongoing criminal investigation. This made me feel a lot better. We’d see my dad, he’d tell Sarah to stop being an idiot, and then we’d be bound to pick another subject. Problem solved. I folded my arms and got a bit more comfortable in my seat.

“Okay. Let’s see if he’s in.”